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Install Like It’s For You – A Song for the Custom Installer

I had the unique, two-hours-only-a-parent-could-love, pleasure of attending my daughter’s ballet recital this past weekend. And if you’ve never had the opportunity, I can assure you that watching dozens of 4-12 year old girls dancing ballet and tap to covers of Michael Jackson hits is every bit as fun as it sounds. (Did I mention that there was no intermission? Or bar? And that it was two hours?)

I had the unique, two-hours-only-a-parent-could-love, pleasure of attending my daughter’s ballet recital this past weekend. And if you’ve never had the opportunity, I can assure you that watching dozens of 4-12 year old girls dancing ballet and tap to covers of Michael Jackson hits is every bit as fun as it sounds. (Did I mention that there was no intermission? Or bar? And that it was two hours?)

So, on the car ride home, I’m listening to the local Top 40 radio station and Taylor Swift’s latest hit, “22,” comes on. As damaging as it will be to my man-cred, I’ll admit that I enjoy many of Ms. Swift’s songs, and “22” has a peppy-catchy hook. (And, she sure is purty to look at.) So, I find myself singing along to “22” but changing the lyrics to “42” better reflecting my age and more weathered/cynical outlook on life. It had inspired lines like:

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 42
Everything will be OK, after a drink or two
You don’t know about me, but I’m sure that Google do
I know it won’t be alright, if I keep drinking like when I was 22…

But after finishing, it seemed Swifty’s song spoke to me more as an anthem for custom installers than it did as a commentary on life over 40. Industry stuff that rhymed with “22” kept popping into my head, and the only way to exorcise those demons was to type them out. After about 15 minutes I had what seemed like a pretty catchy little song for the industry.

So, I’m hoping you’ll indulge me in this slightly off-topic blog post. (Resi Systems Editor in Chief says it’s my funeral… I hope you’ll help me prove him wrong.) If nothing else, maybe it will make listening to “22” a little more bearable when it comes on the radio. (If you’ve never heard the song, this will be a lot funnier in some context and give you the flow of the lines. So, here’s a link to Swift’s video. Even if you hate the upbeat, poppy tune, like I said, she’s still awful purty to look at…)

I shared my parody with custom install’s very own Jay-Z, Phillip “HiPhi” Cordell, The AV Professional, who felt it was “pretty darn strong.” And uber-integrator , Rich Fregosa, said it had shades of Yankovic; high praise indeed. So, I got that going for me. Which is nice.

So, with all respect to Ms. Swift, here is the custom install parody of “22.” Heart-shaped glasses and hipster hats totally optional… If this goes over well, then maybe there will be a “We are never ever getting back together” break-up parody for those times when we need to part ways with a troublesome client or manufacturer… Enjoy!

It feels like a perfect day, to gear up like installers
And work on computers, uh-huh
It feels like a perfect day for finishing this system
Troubleshootin’ my programmin’, uh-huh
Yeaaaah

We’re busy smart diligent and resourceful at the same time
This job’s quizzical and logical oh yeah
Today’s the day we meet our installation deadlines, it’s time uh-huh

I don’t know about you, but I’m Crestron True Blue
If everything’s not alright tech support can help you
You should know about IP, and I bet you want to
Everything will be alright if you keep installing like it’s for you, like it’s for you-ou

It seems like one of those days
Client’s havin’ a big party, too many problems
(What is a remote socket server anyhow?)
It seems like one of those nights
Gonna ditch the lighting scene and just write a new routine
Yeaaah

We’re clever fast bemused and MacGyver in the best way
It’s customized and done on time oh yeah
Today’s the day we hope nothing in the rack breaks, no way uh-huh

I don’t know about you, but I use RS-232
Everything will be alright, if you use best practices too
You should know about HDBaseT, ‘cause you might need to
Everything will be alright if you keep installing like it’s for you, like it’s for you-ou

I know about you, you went to CEDIA-U, See-Dee-UH-You-ou

It feels like one of those days,
Program Lutron whole-house scene, one button program-ming
It feels like one of the days
Compiling and uploading
It feels like one of those days
You look like bad news, maybe I can help you, I can help you-ou

I don’t know about you, but I program Control4 too
Everything will be alright, with if/then logic options for you
You don’t like soundbars, but I think you ought to
Everything will be alright, construction starts are up too!

Programming like it’s for you, yeah, like it’s for you-ou!

It feels like one of those days
Terminate the cabling
It feels like one of those days
Dress down the wiring, dial-in networking
It feels like one of those days
There’s only gonna be good news, this system’s for you, I installed it for you-ou!

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