Are You Losing Sales to Monologuing?

They say that great leaders listen. They also say that the good Lord gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Sales managers coach listening 80% of the time and talking 20%. All these are great pieces of advice, and I try to follow them. I even have a legal pad at my desk where I write two things at the top of it every day as reminders: “STFU” (which stands for “look it up”) and “Ask Questions.”

I say “try” because every day it’s an active challenge. I seem to have two modes — “all-in micromanager” and “ghost.” We recently started recording all our virtual meetings using Fathom, a note-taking tool that provides a solid summary of the meeting, SMART commitments, and a video recording. If installed properly on a computer, it also provides a live readout of how much you’re talking, and at the 1:30 mark, it triggers something called a “monologue alert.”

Also by Henry Clifford: Do You Have a Co-CEO?

I noticed today that the monologue alert went off a couple of times, and I realized that I was failing miserably at my effort to keep my mouth shut. When I stop talking, I don’t immediately see people stepping in to fill the void and that makes me want to talk more. Those times when I do get it right by muting myself (which requires that extra step to talk), I see my team come alive and fill in the gaps.

I wonder to what degree are we monologuing our way out of opportunities to let our people grow? Are we monologuing our way out of sales opportunities with potential customers by talking instead of listening? What can we learn from the monologue alert?

Life should come with a monologue alert, not just Fathom. Here are some easy techniques that can feed the need to speak but keep the monologuing at bay:

1. Active Listening: Repeat back the statement you heard and ask if you got it right. It demonstrates you’re listening while at the same time gaining buy-in. This can be especially effective with people you’re arguing with.
2. Let others go first: Encourage team members to share their thoughts before adding your input.
3. Set a timer: Use a timer or have a colleague signal you if you exceed a reasonable speaking time.
4. Watch for body language: If people seem disengaged (looking at phones, not making eye contact), wrap it up!
5. Record yourself: Watch or listen to the footage and learn where you could be more concise.

Does the monologue alert ever go off for you? What are you doing to improve your own listening skills?

Stay frosty, and see you in the field!