During a recent episode of The Flywheel Effect podcast, my co-host Brent and I dove deep into a topic that might make some business owners squirm: coaching. Specifically, we discussed becoming a better coach for your team and why every great leader needs a coach. The conversation reminded me why this skill set is absolutely critical for anyone leading a business.
If I asked you what makes a great leader, you’d probably list things like vision, decision-making ability, and the courage to take risks. But after years of leading teams and building businesses, I’ve learned that the best leaders aren’t just decision-makers — they’re developers of people. And here’s the kicker: they’re also humble enough to be developed themselves.
The Hidden Truth About Scaling Leadership
Let me share a frustration I see constantly in luxury home services businesses. An owner starts as a technician; maybe an installer, a salesperson, or both. They’re excellent at what they do. The quality of their work attracts customers, who attract more business, which requires more people.
Suddenly, without any transition or formal training, they’re managing a team. And that’s where things get interesting.
Most owners handle this transition the same way by trying to be the expert on everything. When someone comes to them with a problem, they solve it. When someone needs guidance, they give detailed instructions. When someone makes a mistake, they show them the “right” way.
Sound familiar?
This approach might work when you have two or three people on your team, but with 10, 15, or 20 people, you become the bottleneck that kills your own growth.
The Coaching Mindset Shift
Instead of being the person with all the answers, what if you became the person who helped others find their own answers?
Your first thought is probably, “But I can solve it faster,” and you’re right — in the short term. But every time you solve someone else’s problem, you rob them of the opportunity to develop that skill themselves.
Also by Matt Bernath: Adapting to Change
Let me give you a practical example. One of my team members recently came to me saying, “I have no idea how to handle this client situation.” My old response would have been, “Here’s exactly what you need to do…” followed by a detailed action plan. Instead, I asked, “Do you really have no idea? Or are you questioning some approach that’s already come to mind?”
He paused. “Well, I guess I do have one idea, but I’m not sure if it’s good enough.”
“Tell me about it.”
What followed was a ten-minute conversation where he talked through his idea, refined it based on my questions, and ultimately came up with a solution that was actually better than what I would have suggested. More importantly, he now owns that solution. He’s not waiting for me to tell him what to do next time something similar comes up.
The Three-Part Framework for Coaching Conversations
Whether it’s a formal one-on-one meeting or a hallway conversation, the most effective coaching interactions follow a simple pattern:
- Define the Outcome. What are we trying to accomplish here? This doesn’t have to be formal — it can be as simple as clarifying whether someone wants to vent, brainstorm solutions, or get specific guidance.
- Identify the Blocks. What’s really getting in the way? Often, it’s not about lack of knowledge: It’s about fear of making the wrong decision, uncertainty about authority levels, or past experiences that are clouding judgment.
- Agree on the Next Step. Not ten steps. One. Something specific and achievable that moves things forward.
The magic happens when you resist the urge to provide the solution yourself. Instead, you guide the conversation so the other person develops the solution.
Also by Matt Bernath: Letting Go to Grow
Here are my go-to questions when someone says they’re stuck:
- “If you had nothing to lose, what would you try?”
- “What would you tell a friend who came to you with this exact problem?”
- “You’ve handled challenging situations before. What did you do then that might apply here?”
These questions work because they shift the dynamic. Instead of looking to you as the expert, the person starts accessing their own knowledge and intuition.
For more insights on leadership and building scalable businesses, I invite you to check out The Flywheel Effect podcast. Each episode is packed with practical strategies to help you navigate the challenges of growing your business while developing the people who make it all possible. If you want more information about how VITAL can help, check out these free resources
